TABOO TOWER-DATE WITH RECTOR SIRI: Tårned on or Tårn apart?
TABOO TOWER-DATE WITH RECTOR SIRI:
Tårned on or Tårn apart?
The sun is shining, and I, an ordinary student of Forest, Environment, and Industry, get to spend the first morning hours of Women’s Day with the town’s most influential woman. I seek answers to the following question: Can I win the rector’s heart in 90 minutes?
TEXT: ÅSMUND GODAL TUNHEIM
PHOTO: INGUNN REIMERS
TRANSLATION: EVA WESTON SZEMES
Siri Fjellheim, our wonderful, and quite mysterious head of the university, has agreed to meet me. A woman like her, with a nobody like me? Many of you will think this is outrageous, and you are right. But I still find myself walking with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a thermos with coffee in the other, all the way to Tårn (The Tower Building), where the University Board sits in orderly fashion and steers the NMBU-ship with a precise hand.
And there she is: A fresh-looking, beautiful goddess. She ushers me into the narrow lift, that takes us all the way to what has until now been the top: The fourth floor of Tårnbygningen. But our rector jingles her keys, and The Pearly Gates open before me.
All of a sudden, I stand in what might be Ås’ most inaccessible room, with what might be Ås’ most unachievable woman. The morning sun tickles our skin, while a table mat and flowers are placed on the table. We get comfortable on opposite sides of the table, and I can already feel the power of her gaze. This is a lady with guts. A lady that will hopefully fall in love with me soon.
I pull the powerful spells out of my pocket: 36 scientifically made questions that according to veientilhelse.no will form a strong, intimate bond between two people who don’t know each other. I ask if she is ready. She takes a deep breath and smiles: “Yes”.
First set. Unfortunately, the answers cannot be reported in detail due to lack of space, but I will try to give you the essence of it. Right from the beginning, Siri makes it clear that she is deeply interested in science and academia. When I ask her who, out of every person in the world she would like to invite for dinner, she answers Rosalind Franklin, an essential woman in the work of describing the DNA molecule. Siri is more interested in genes and women in science than the average person.
“If you are going to dream, dream big”, she says. She would not like to be famous, but if she was, she would like it to be because of a big scientific discovery that made a positive impact on society and people’s lives.
Siri is “a real early bird”, and her perfect day starts with an early morning with coffee, working on exciting questions about genes and grass, paddling on calm water, and hanging out with… the family. She sadly has to reveal that she has a husband and two kids, and that she would really like to go on a boat ride and have a barbeque with them on the terrace. That’s a pill I will have to swallow.
Siri plays the piano, but she is not particularly proud of her singing. She recently sang with others at the Norwegian Castle a few weeks ago, where she was sat on a sofa with the King. “There, you have to sing the national anthem, and that was a little embarrassing, because I shared a table with the lead singer of Seigmen, who is now an opera singer. So I tried to slightly turn away from him, and listen to him sing the national anthem, and somewhat tone down my own singing.”
While Siri tells me she would love to wake up and be good at political debates, all of a sudden “Lars <3”, her husband, calls. This is extremely embarrassing. We end up agreeing it’s OK we’re both in relationships, considering the student-rector relationship. But the goal is falling in love, and Siri thinks out loud: “Maybe this will turn into a huge catastrophe: ‘Rector leaves her family, loses her job, falls in love with student.’ That would be a right mess. Let’s hope reason will win.”
I ask Siri to share her life story in four minutes. She tells me about a nice childhood in Horten, with parents that taught her a lot about science and nature. Already in Year 8 she decided she wanted to be a biologist, and this ended with a master’s degree and a PhD at NMBU. She then continued at NMBU as a lecturer, scientist and professor with a specialisation in grass “the world’s most important plant family”. The last few years, she has had different leadership roles, such as Head of Professionals, Head of Institute, Vicerector and now Rector. When it comes to her private life, she quickly tells me about 24 years of partnership with “Lars<3” and her two wonderful daughters aged 14 and 16. I nod politely.
Second set. The first set is over. I feel like I am getting into the flow of things, and the energy in the room increases as the sun rises in the sky. Siri gets cooler and cooler, and it’s apparent that she LOVES research. But can I get closer to her?
“Oh, that’s a tough one”, is her frustrated whisper when I ask about her biggest achievement in life. After a quick think, she concludes that she might not be that driven by performance: “My goal is to have fun and pursue my interests.” And if she could ask one question to an all-knowing crystal ball, it would be: “Can I ever get back to my science career, or am I ruined for life?”
When asked about her most treasured memory, she points out that she has given birth to two children. Her worst memory, however, was when she was tasked to turn in an application for a research project on behalf of her advisor, and couldn’t manage to do it in time. “That felt fucking awful”, she shudders.
Sorrow is not something Siri has had a lot of in her life. “I’ve lost two grandmothers, but that’s a long time ago. So, I’ve been spared for a lot of sorrow.” Siri seems to manage most things, and generally, it doesn’t seem like there is a lot that bothers this woman. Is it too good to be true? Yes. “Lars<3” calls back. “Poor old man is traveling, in Bergen, all alone”, Siri says. He will have to wait, and we get into the final stretch.
Third set. After a few opening questions, I challenge Siri to say what she likes about me. She responds that I am very honest and open, and that my drive is good. I point out her hugely positive appearance and energy, and that she is a rector I am increasingly proud of. “Now I am touched”, she says.
Siri is easily touched, and she cries quite often, both alone and in front of her family, especially while watching films. But she is not a fan of all entertainment. “Gauteshow […] is absolutely terrible!” she exclaims. “They make fun of weaker groups, and I do NOT like that. Why can’t they just not do that?”
The question for one million pounds. After I and Siri have spent the last 90 minutes together, looking into each other’s eyes, and answered to the best of our ability nearly all of the 36 questions supposedly leding to love, I must ask: “Did you fall in love with me, slightly?”
Here, I have to quote her word for word, to make it crystal clear: “A little bit, absolutely”, she says, and she can’t hold back her smile. “Now, you are the student at NMBU I know the best, and the one I am closest to!” I cannot resist letting out a roar of happiness, and I must admit that this was a big one. “Yes, this was kind of a big one”, she says. “I think, just forget about that Tinder stuff, do this, this is based on science!”
Siri lives to have fun. Her relationships with her family and friends are good, she has few grudges and last, but not least, she loves her research. That such a woman, the head of the University in Ås, now might be just a tad in love with me, is a privilege I will not hesitate to put on my CV. Now we just have to wait and see if we keep in touch. I will not rule out that it was extremely pleasant.