Job search guru to the rescue!
Job search guru to the rescue!
“The advice you find online sucks!”
This is how job search guru Martin Folkvord’s lecture at Sørhellinga on Monday evening begins. In addition to being a columnist for VG, he has written the book Get the Job! – All the Advice You Can’t Get on the Internet. The tips in the book are based on interviews with managers and bosses across the country, who have collectively reviewed over 20,000 job applications during their hiring processes. “They were all surprisingly unanimous in their opinions about what makes a good and bad application”, says Folkvord, and he therefore believes that his tips apply to everyone applying for jobs – regardless of the type.
Journalist: Laura Wanvik
Translator: Thale Jensen Hevrøy
Photographer: Hanna Elise Lothe Pilskog
During his hour-long lecture, Folkvord takes us through the 13 biggest mistakes people make as job seekers. To illustrate our mistakes, Folkvord uses what he himself emphasizes is a “very awkward” comparison: Tinder dating. Tuntreet hereby presents the author’s three most important pieces of advice, disguised as distasteful (yet effective) Tinder tips.
Mistake #1: You’re not starting with the best picture
With an endless supply of potential suitors under the recipient’s thumb, you need to make sure you’re one of the ones who gets swiped right. No one sits in front of the fireplace with a glass of red wine to swipe through Tinder, intently focused each photo and curious about your zodiac sign. In other words, you can’t afford two old, half-decent mirror selfies before the sunset photo with the perfect tan.
The same applies to your CV. Bosses themselves claim that you have 30 seconds to make a good impression, but Folkvord believes this number is much lower; “They just don’t want to offend you”. In other words, you have no time to waste on your boss reading about where you went to secondary school, or your summer job at Narvesen in 2017.
“Start with what is most relevant to the job you are applying for. Education doesn’t always have to be at the top if you have more relevant work experience”, the author emphasizes. “What constitutes relevant experience varies from job to job. You should therefor tailor your CV to each job you are applying for. Weed out what is irrelevant, highlight what is most relevant”. The best picture first!
Mistake #2: You try to become their partner in chat
Okay, so you landed on the right side of the Tinder test of fire: Now it’s time to chat! But here you have to thread carefully. You must not seem too active, as the path from interested to desperation is short. At the same time, you must not be too absent, as this often ends in wounded pride and a dead inbox. The goal is to seem interesting enough that your match will want to meet, and then you take the rest from there. There is a difference between being ready to marry and “going for a beer” – and only the latter is the goal of the conversation (fortunately). “Nobody becomes partners in the Tinder chat”, notes Folkvord. “And nobody gets hired just by applying!”
The application is a portal to a real chance to make a good impression at the interview. It should make the employer curious. Therefore, do not go into detail about all your personal strengths and qualifications, hobbies and core values in the application. Keep it relevant and concrete and instead talk more about your close relationship with nature and deep commitment to cultural heritage preservation at the interview. Be a little mysterious. Don’t write too complicated; you don’t want to appear uptight, do you? Don’t write too long either; you don’t want to appear like a chatterbox. “Write as you would write to a friend – minus the slang”, recommends Folkvord.
Mistake #3: You “look for a caddie”
There is nothing less charming than a golfer looking for a “caddie”. Definition:
A caddie is a golfer’s assistant. The caddie carries or drives clubs and other equipment, cleans the ball, holds marker flags, and has a good knowledge of distances and challenges on the course and provides the player with moral and practical support.
Need I say more?
A good pick up line is not to list the various reasons why a partner is a “great fit” for you now, and how this would have made your everyday life easier, what burdens this partner could relieve, and that you could imagine someone who also likes to “be active” and cook. Not only is this unromantic; “Bosses don’t give a damn about your needs…before you get the job”, declares Folkvord. The same goes for your date. A better check-in trick, however, is to convince them that you would make a good partner. Argue why they need you.
Important: don’t just say you’re good – prove it! Actions before words, to quote Gabrielle. “It doesn’t help much to list adjectives about yourself”, explains Folkvord. You may be bubbly and disciplined, but according to the author, “it’s just an adjective salad for the employer who doesn’t know you”. His tip: Link your qualities to your life! You create a good working environment because you bake muffins when someone has a birthday. You are responsible because you have represented your class in the student parliament. This increases your credibility, while also sneaking in a bit of humble bragging. “But for God’s sake; don’t say you’re good in bed and list your ex as a reference!” (ed. note).
In other words, the transfer rate between dating and job searching is not completely accurate, but almost. Many thanks to Martin Folkvord who gave good tips on both!
