Orgasm - A boost of joy from your own body

Orgasm is something most of us have a relationship to, and many of us are very fond of it! An orgasm isn’t just an orgasm. It is both healthy and gives you a burst of joy in your everyday life, and there are 11 different versions of it. I had a chat with the sexologist who has written the first and only Norwegian book on masturbation; Annie Tønnessen. en.

Journalist: Silje Bie Helgesen

Illustrator: Olina Søyland Bru

Better health from orgasm

Tønnessen explains that the brain receives impulses all the time, and that this also happens when you masturbate, have sex, or experience sexual pleasure. “The hormones initiate neural signals to the genitalia that releases dopamine, while the level of the hormone oxytocin increase,” she says.

Oxytocin is a hormone that activates the part of the brain where emotions are controlled. Oxytocin is also called the Love Hormone because it is released when you have sex or get eye contact from someone you are extra fond of. Dopamine is a happiness hormone that gives increased sense of well-being and joy, which makes you smilingly happy. “For men, ejaculating 21 times a month could reduce chances of prostate cancer by 33 percent,” Tønnessen explains.

There are many factors which play a part when it comes to the orgasm. Actually, your own confidence all the way from when you were a child can affect your sexual pleasure! “To explore yourself is to learn to know your own body. To improve your self-image from when you were a child can have a large effect on orgasms.”

The four stages of orgasm – This is what happens to the body

The excitement stage is the first step of the orgasm. You simply get horny, or aroused, and the body prepares itself for sex and masturbation. The excitement stage can differ from person to person because people don’t necessarily like the same thing. Some get horny by being close to someone they are sexually attracted to, while some can reach arousal by fantasising or watching porn. Regardless of your preferences, the body prepares in the same way. In Tønnessen’s book, “Om onani” (About Masturbation), it is explained that men get a stiff penis, enlarged testicles, and small amounts of liquid will exit the urethral opening. A woman will become wet, and get stiff nipples, and a stiff clitoris with enlarged outer and inner labia. The cervix will retract upwards end the vagina will expand to “receive” a penis, or a sexual aid.

The plateau stage is the phase where all the tingling and emotions build up to climax. Now the penis is at its largest thanks to the erection. The head of the penis changes colour to a deep purple hue and the testicles retract. Women also gets a change of colour when the inner labia turn deep purple, while the vaginal cavity tightens, and the uterus and clitoris is lifted even further up.

Orgasm stage - This is it! The orgasm reaches its crescendo and urges are uncontrollable. The outer labia spasm with three to twelve contractions in the musculature with intervals of 0.8 seconds. There is a possibility of a squirt being ejaculated. The man first reaches the emission phase where the seminal vesicle, vas deferens, and prostate is contracted. The inner urethra pushes outward with intervals of 0.8 seconds. Furthermore, seminal ejaculation happens in three to four waves. Now the orgasm is at its peak!

In the relaxation stage all involved genitalia and erogenous sones revert to their starting points, and it is time for relaxation. At least for men, who need more time in the relaxation stage than women, who on the other hand can reach several orgasms back-to-back. In the relaxation stage there is often the need for relaxation and sleep. The body has just released feel-good hormones and one can enjoy a high of dopamine.

Orgasm in couples

Tønnessen refers to new research that shows that knowing your own sexuality leads to a much better relationship to your partner. “Improved personal sexual health leads to a better relation to another human being. A lust for more increases when one gets an orgasm,” she says.The first step is to have good communication, tell your partner how you like to be touched. “All too many forego lube, regardless of age. Use coconut oil from REMA 1000, it is cheap and good.” She continues to say that some women struggle to get wet, and then the partner assumes that she is not horny. Annie explains that this is not necessarily the case. If this happens, lube can make the session a better experience.

Are there differences between genders?

“It is fraught with shame for women to want a lot of sexual pleasure and orgasm. I experience meeting a lot of female clients who consciously limit themselves sexually,” Tønnessen says.

Norms put boys and girls in boxes, also when it comes to sexual health. From the olden days women were supposed to be “pure”, which was measured by whether or not she was a virgin. Even though modern society has liberated women, these types of societal norms still cling on. This can push women to limit their sexual activity, often out of fear of being “slut shamed”. “It has always been said that men have more sexual urges than women. Despite that, I meet clients with erectile dysfunction all the way down in their twenties, in the same way that there is a lack of sexual urges for some women.” Tønnessen says that lusts for orgasm pertains more to age, stress, medications, and pressure.

What is a stressed student to do if the lust for orgasm declines?

“Discover and explore your erogenous sones, they stimulate lust,” she says. Find the source of stress, and work on techniques for handling stress. When the stress declines, lust will improve.

Eleven different types of orgasm – briefly presented

Women can experience clitoral orgasm, kissing orgasm, anal orgasm, g-spot orgasm, and cervical orgasm. It is possible for both sexes to imagine themselves to a fantasy orgasm, without any need of physical touch. Orgasms from erogenous sones are also common ground, like nipple orgasm. Therefore, the different types of orgasm will vary in numbers for each person, because we have so many different erogenous sones. Multi-orgasm, also called full-body orgasm, can give you both spasms and make your eyes tear up. The orgasm most men refer to is the orgasm that gives both orgasm and semen at the same time. “For men orgasm is spasm in their body and ejaculation of semen. Therefore, men can achieve a type of orgasm where semen isn’t produced,” she says. Men can also have a prostate orgasm and anal orgasm.

No matter what orgasm you get, it will give your body positive hormones and confidence. Happy orgasm!